I started Taekwondo last night. My son has been in it for about a year, so I decided to join the adult group. This instructor separates by age, not skill level. Fortunately, I wasn't the only white belt, there is one other.
SO much was thrown at us last night in the hour we had. 6 different positions, 4 different commands in Korean....solar line, chest line, breath out, stretch!!!!
I'll get it. Eventually. But I find it interesting....I walked through my house last night (and most of today) doing the front punches...minding my chest line (lest I be attacked...by....um, a cat, maybe?). Why do we not put the same effort into non-physical things? The same things I was told last night.....know your enemy, know your weaknesses, use your strengths....could all be applied to prayer. It seems we treat our prayers with a bit of levity - we do the requisite nighttime ones, and add some when we know someone sick or hurting. I'm smart enough to realize that physical strength only comes through repetition, and from that, muscle memory. You no longer think about the action - you do it. Prayer shouldn't be any different. A bit awkward at first, yes....kinda like "girl" pushups - you stick to the easy prayers. But if I make myself pray at times that aren't normal/natural....eventually they will become natural...building my spiritual muscle, if you will.....
Friday, November 5, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Happy New Year!!
What's that? Well, yes, I am aware it's November. No, I haven't completely lost my mind.
I'm one of those people that sets a date to start something, whether eating healthier, or reading more. I usually pick a first of the month, or beginning of the week. I'm also one of those people that if it doesn't work out, I just kill the whole week. For example, last week on Monday I decided to really work on what I was eating. Monday didn't go as planned, so instead of saying, "Ok, I'll just do better tomorrow", I decided the whole week was shot, and I would just try again the following Monday. Another example? I thought Monday, All Saint's Day, would be a perfect day to get back in the bible reading, blog posting groove. Didn't happen, and my initial reaction was to just try again next week, instead of trying again Tuesday.
Not the best way to go about doing things. I've really let myself get into a funk this past month....I'm not sure if it's the time of year or what, but it seems a more than normal amount of my friends are having the same problem, too.
So, today, a random Thursday in November, is my New Year. And my first resolution is to break my "goal starting date" issues. Mission accomplished! Second resolution is to appreciate the small things that bring joy, and let go of the big things that aggravate me, but I have no control over.
I was staying at home yesterday, all set for a nap I really really really wanted, when the library called. Had I forgotten it was Books on Wheels day? Crap. Yeah, I did. So, I threw my shoes on and rushed over. I was not happy....that I had forgotten, that I wasn't going to get any sleep. I changed my mood real quick when I got to the ladies at The Manor. What in the world was I grumpy about? I can get out of the house, I can get out of bed, I can go to the library!! Spending just a small amount of time with folks who can't do most of that anymore put things in perspective for me. That was the little light in the birdhouse of my soul that I needed!
Even in the almost month I haven't posted, I have been praying daily. Especially with my son. He keeps me on track. He received a nice bookmark at our All Saint's party that has all of the prayers of the rosary on it. We'll be starting that this week. My hope is that by introducing prayer to him early, and showing him that we don't just pray when we need something, as he grows he'll have prayer as an integral part of his life, in good times and bad, as a comfort for himself, and to give others.
Today's Readings
Philippians 3:3-8, Psalm 105:2-7, Luke 15: 1-10
I'm one of those people that sets a date to start something, whether eating healthier, or reading more. I usually pick a first of the month, or beginning of the week. I'm also one of those people that if it doesn't work out, I just kill the whole week. For example, last week on Monday I decided to really work on what I was eating. Monday didn't go as planned, so instead of saying, "Ok, I'll just do better tomorrow", I decided the whole week was shot, and I would just try again the following Monday. Another example? I thought Monday, All Saint's Day, would be a perfect day to get back in the bible reading, blog posting groove. Didn't happen, and my initial reaction was to just try again next week, instead of trying again Tuesday.
Not the best way to go about doing things. I've really let myself get into a funk this past month....I'm not sure if it's the time of year or what, but it seems a more than normal amount of my friends are having the same problem, too.
So, today, a random Thursday in November, is my New Year. And my first resolution is to break my "goal starting date" issues. Mission accomplished! Second resolution is to appreciate the small things that bring joy, and let go of the big things that aggravate me, but I have no control over.
I was staying at home yesterday, all set for a nap I really really really wanted, when the library called. Had I forgotten it was Books on Wheels day? Crap. Yeah, I did. So, I threw my shoes on and rushed over. I was not happy....that I had forgotten, that I wasn't going to get any sleep. I changed my mood real quick when I got to the ladies at The Manor. What in the world was I grumpy about? I can get out of the house, I can get out of bed, I can go to the library!! Spending just a small amount of time with folks who can't do most of that anymore put things in perspective for me. That was the little light in the birdhouse of my soul that I needed!
Even in the almost month I haven't posted, I have been praying daily. Especially with my son. He keeps me on track. He received a nice bookmark at our All Saint's party that has all of the prayers of the rosary on it. We'll be starting that this week. My hope is that by introducing prayer to him early, and showing him that we don't just pray when we need something, as he grows he'll have prayer as an integral part of his life, in good times and bad, as a comfort for himself, and to give others.
Today's Readings
Philippians 3:3-8, Psalm 105:2-7, Luke 15: 1-10
Friday, October 8, 2010
Happy Friday!!
Today's Readings
Job 38: 1, 12-21, Job 40: 3-5, Psalm 139: 1-3, 7-10, 13-14, Luke 10: 13-16
Hard to be really happy it's Friday when you have to work Saturday. I took last night off because Ed wasn't feeling well. Got to spend some time outside with the neighborhood kids. I need to do that more....be mindful of the fact that winter is a'comin, and we won't have nice afternoons to just jump outside and play.
Hopefully today we'll get the Halloween decorations done. It's not my favorite holiday, but Colm has a few good years of trick-or-treating left. I need to see if Edward needs help with his costume. He's going to ride his horse, Patchy, as the headless horseman. I thought that was pretty creative. The girl that lives behind us has decided.....
Uh-oh! My phone isn't working!!! Code Red!!!
.....phone is now fixed. I was working ACD when I found out phone wasn't working. Quick run to Wally-world and was up and running in time for my main job with AAA. I don't necessarily like shopping the big stores, but they are a blessing when nothing else is open at 7am.
I also like that Ed and I are finally at a point where a crisis like this happened in the middle of a pay period, and we were able to handle it. Through hard work and lots of prayer, we are finally getting not just back on our feet, but ahead just a teeny bit!
Job 38: 1, 12-21, Job 40: 3-5, Psalm 139: 1-3, 7-10, 13-14, Luke 10: 13-16
Hard to be really happy it's Friday when you have to work Saturday. I took last night off because Ed wasn't feeling well. Got to spend some time outside with the neighborhood kids. I need to do that more....be mindful of the fact that winter is a'comin, and we won't have nice afternoons to just jump outside and play.
Hopefully today we'll get the Halloween decorations done. It's not my favorite holiday, but Colm has a few good years of trick-or-treating left. I need to see if Edward needs help with his costume. He's going to ride his horse, Patchy, as the headless horseman. I thought that was pretty creative. The girl that lives behind us has decided.....
Uh-oh! My phone isn't working!!! Code Red!!!
.....phone is now fixed. I was working ACD when I found out phone wasn't working. Quick run to Wally-world and was up and running in time for my main job with AAA. I don't necessarily like shopping the big stores, but they are a blessing when nothing else is open at 7am.
I also like that Ed and I are finally at a point where a crisis like this happened in the middle of a pay period, and we were able to handle it. Through hard work and lots of prayer, we are finally getting not just back on our feet, but ahead just a teeny bit!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
This week went by fast!!
Today's Mass readings - Our Lady of the Rosary
Acts 1:12-14, Luke 1:46-55, Luke 1:26-38
This is a beautiful duet of Hail Mary, Gentle Woman
Man, this week FLEW. Already Thursday?
The mindfulness is working at work. I wasn't sure if it was - the whole "let's be more focused, spiritual all day" bit - until I made a call to a woman who apparently was fed up with people calling her. So I call Lady B, looking for Lady A.....and I knew I was in trouble when I heard the deep breath she took. She screamed (literally - this was horror-movie worthy decibels) that Lady A doesn't live there, how dare I call, etc, etc.
I simply told her thanks, with a smile in my voice. And I meant it. If she was so frustrated at whatever was going on, if her screaming at me let some of that tension go, and maybe saved someone else from the wrath of that aggravation.....that was a successful call. Not a successful sales call, mind you......but I really felt the difference in how I genuinely handled that woman, knowing how I would've let it get to me a few weeks ago.
I'm going to make sure and do the Rosary with Colm today. It's the Luminous mysteries today. I want to get better at the Rosary - get to where I'm actually able to meditate on the mysteries. Colm loves doing his Rosary and learning the prayers. This window of wanting to learn is short - I missed it with his brother and I do regret that.
Acts 1:12-14, Luke 1:46-55, Luke 1:26-38
This is a beautiful duet of Hail Mary, Gentle Woman
Man, this week FLEW. Already Thursday?
The mindfulness is working at work. I wasn't sure if it was - the whole "let's be more focused, spiritual all day" bit - until I made a call to a woman who apparently was fed up with people calling her. So I call Lady B, looking for Lady A.....and I knew I was in trouble when I heard the deep breath she took. She screamed (literally - this was horror-movie worthy decibels) that Lady A doesn't live there, how dare I call, etc, etc.
I simply told her thanks, with a smile in my voice. And I meant it. If she was so frustrated at whatever was going on, if her screaming at me let some of that tension go, and maybe saved someone else from the wrath of that aggravation.....that was a successful call. Not a successful sales call, mind you......but I really felt the difference in how I genuinely handled that woman, knowing how I would've let it get to me a few weeks ago.
I'm going to make sure and do the Rosary with Colm today. It's the Luminous mysteries today. I want to get better at the Rosary - get to where I'm actually able to meditate on the mysteries. Colm loves doing his Rosary and learning the prayers. This window of wanting to learn is short - I missed it with his brother and I do regret that.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Getting there....it's a slow process....
Today's Mass readings
Galatians 1:13-24, Psalm 139:1-3, 13-15, Luke 10: 38-42
Bernadette Farrell's hymn - O God, You Search Me and You Know Me
I think, until I find my own voice, I'm going to post the daily Mass readings (theoretically daily....let's see how many days I go, shall we?). I think it will at least get my day started on the right foot.
I have been doing prayers with Colm in the evening....so I can say yes - I have prayed every day. But not the type of prayer I want to get to. I think it's a great habit for him, but somehow I think reciting children's prayers and saying "yep, that's good enough" isn't good enough.
I'm having quite a bit of trouble staying mindful at work. I'm thankful to be employed, and at the same time, I am annoyed at how some things are done. I have to remember I'm not in a position to change things, and at this point I just have to channel Dory and keep swimming, swimming, swimming. Although most days it feels like I'm muttering it through a clenched jaw, not humming it joyfully.
Galatians 1:13-24, Psalm 139:1-3, 13-15, Luke 10: 38-42
Bernadette Farrell's hymn - O God, You Search Me and You Know Me
I think, until I find my own voice, I'm going to post the daily Mass readings (theoretically daily....let's see how many days I go, shall we?). I think it will at least get my day started on the right foot.
I have been doing prayers with Colm in the evening....so I can say yes - I have prayed every day. But not the type of prayer I want to get to. I think it's a great habit for him, but somehow I think reciting children's prayers and saying "yep, that's good enough" isn't good enough.
I'm having quite a bit of trouble staying mindful at work. I'm thankful to be employed, and at the same time, I am annoyed at how some things are done. I have to remember I'm not in a position to change things, and at this point I just have to channel Dory and keep swimming, swimming, swimming. Although most days it feels like I'm muttering it through a clenched jaw, not humming it joyfully.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Saturday Retreat Journal
Saturday morning
Up early! Breakfast was a silent meal. The dialogue in my head went Spongebob on me. "The most important meal of the day, serving it up Gary's way, Boop!"
We did morning prayers with the Sisters. It's a beautiful chapel. Very old,by Midwestern standards. High straight-backed pews, divided into individual seats. A nice reminder to me of us being all together with God, but alone with Him, too. Simple, beautiful scriptural chants, alternating sides. It was very easy to get lost in the repetitive sounds.
Sr. Macrina talked a lot about inviting the Spirit into your work - no matter what work it is - peeling potatoes or leading a nation. She talked about thinking about and through everything you do. No matter your work - someone benefits from what you do. She talked about honoring the blessing of work. I can honestly say, I don't always think of work as a blessing. But, it is a blessing that I can work and to be employed. I can also work harder at appreciating every call at work. Even if that person yells, or hangs up on me, it is because of them I have work. I do need to work on ways to approach work with a more humble attitude.
Lunch
Another silent meal. I had a piece of grilled chicken, a scoop of green beans, a scoop of rice and a roll. I think the chocolate cookies for dessert were homemade! We were sitting face each other at our table. Since I didn't want the whole "awkward eye contact" thing, I looked at my plate.
I can not think of another meal I was quite so mindful of. I've never really had a meal in complete, focused silence. Every bite of chicken, every grain of rice - where did it come from? The farmers, the women and children in rice paddies, the harvesters of the grain, who were these people? What was their life like? All of the time, labor and sacrifice that went into the meal in front of me.
That was the first time this weekend I think my mind was where it should be. I have quieted my outside, but not so much my inside. My brain is watching squirrels harvest, watching the cats of the grounds watching the squirrels, watching the amazing twisting and turning of clouds as the front rolls in. I wonder if I'm doing this right? I have a feeling this is something that comes with practice. My mind didn't become Grand Central Station in one weekend, one weekend alone will not slow all the tracks.
Saturday evening
Rainy and cool. I love this weather! We were finally allowed this evening to chat! Other than singing morning prayers, no sound has left my lips since late yesterday evening. We chatted at our table about the fruits of our silence. We talked about a poem by Stanley Kunitz called "The Layers". Amazing poem. First read didn't do much for me, but second reading, and then the enriching of the interpretations of the women at my table.
Big thing I noticed tonight, the polar opposite of dinner to lunch. Dinner wasn't silent. I continued to share and talk with other women over a meal. But the actual food itself was....physically nourishing but not spiritually satisfying. I loved talking and learning about these wonderful unique people, and felt bad about not giving heed to the work and workers that went into my meal.
Evening ended with a wine and cheese social. I met three Sisters of Charity from Leavenworth - one does the prison ministry, too!! I thought that was cool (I'm easily impressed by such "small world" occurrences).
As evening ends, my thoughts turn to returning home tomorrow. I know the boys are find, and Colm will want to campout *just one more night* and Edward will want a few hours at the farm....I'm more interested in how I can continue this at home. Knowing my schedule, when will I pause for prayers? If I know when, will I still do it? Will I take what I've learned and mindfully, spiritually incorporate it into my days and nights? Sitting in my super-quiet room, I realize this is the last night I'll have this sort of quiet for a while. I have enjoyed every second of this retreat, even if I'm not so sure my brain was quite as quiet as it should've been. But, everything in moderation. A kind of rare treat - savored more when it keeps it's specialness, it's "once-in-a-great while-ness".
Oh, I asked about the slacks thing. Apparently, they are more comfortable. Since I'm extremely vertically challenged, all my skirts hit just at or above my ankles. I never even considered the whole "you need hose with skirts and have to watch how you sit" angle. Mystery solved!! I didn't ask about the short hair, but with the trouble mine has been today with the wind and rain, I'm chalking that up to comfort and convenience, too.
I've had this song stuck in my head tonight - Edie Brickell - Me By the Sea .
Up early! Breakfast was a silent meal. The dialogue in my head went Spongebob on me. "The most important meal of the day, serving it up Gary's way, Boop!"
We did morning prayers with the Sisters. It's a beautiful chapel. Very old,by Midwestern standards. High straight-backed pews, divided into individual seats. A nice reminder to me of us being all together with God, but alone with Him, too. Simple, beautiful scriptural chants, alternating sides. It was very easy to get lost in the repetitive sounds.
Sr. Macrina talked a lot about inviting the Spirit into your work - no matter what work it is - peeling potatoes or leading a nation. She talked about thinking about and through everything you do. No matter your work - someone benefits from what you do. She talked about honoring the blessing of work. I can honestly say, I don't always think of work as a blessing. But, it is a blessing that I can work and to be employed. I can also work harder at appreciating every call at work. Even if that person yells, or hangs up on me, it is because of them I have work. I do need to work on ways to approach work with a more humble attitude.
Lunch
Another silent meal. I had a piece of grilled chicken, a scoop of green beans, a scoop of rice and a roll. I think the chocolate cookies for dessert were homemade! We were sitting face each other at our table. Since I didn't want the whole "awkward eye contact" thing, I looked at my plate.
I can not think of another meal I was quite so mindful of. I've never really had a meal in complete, focused silence. Every bite of chicken, every grain of rice - where did it come from? The farmers, the women and children in rice paddies, the harvesters of the grain, who were these people? What was their life like? All of the time, labor and sacrifice that went into the meal in front of me.
That was the first time this weekend I think my mind was where it should be. I have quieted my outside, but not so much my inside. My brain is watching squirrels harvest, watching the cats of the grounds watching the squirrels, watching the amazing twisting and turning of clouds as the front rolls in. I wonder if I'm doing this right? I have a feeling this is something that comes with practice. My mind didn't become Grand Central Station in one weekend, one weekend alone will not slow all the tracks.
Saturday evening
Rainy and cool. I love this weather! We were finally allowed this evening to chat! Other than singing morning prayers, no sound has left my lips since late yesterday evening. We chatted at our table about the fruits of our silence. We talked about a poem by Stanley Kunitz called "The Layers". Amazing poem. First read didn't do much for me, but second reading, and then the enriching of the interpretations of the women at my table.
Big thing I noticed tonight, the polar opposite of dinner to lunch. Dinner wasn't silent. I continued to share and talk with other women over a meal. But the actual food itself was....physically nourishing but not spiritually satisfying. I loved talking and learning about these wonderful unique people, and felt bad about not giving heed to the work and workers that went into my meal.
Evening ended with a wine and cheese social. I met three Sisters of Charity from Leavenworth - one does the prison ministry, too!! I thought that was cool (I'm easily impressed by such "small world" occurrences).
As evening ends, my thoughts turn to returning home tomorrow. I know the boys are find, and Colm will want to campout *just one more night* and Edward will want a few hours at the farm....I'm more interested in how I can continue this at home. Knowing my schedule, when will I pause for prayers? If I know when, will I still do it? Will I take what I've learned and mindfully, spiritually incorporate it into my days and nights? Sitting in my super-quiet room, I realize this is the last night I'll have this sort of quiet for a while. I have enjoyed every second of this retreat, even if I'm not so sure my brain was quite as quiet as it should've been. But, everything in moderation. A kind of rare treat - savored more when it keeps it's specialness, it's "once-in-a-great while-ness".
Oh, I asked about the slacks thing. Apparently, they are more comfortable. Since I'm extremely vertically challenged, all my skirts hit just at or above my ankles. I never even considered the whole "you need hose with skirts and have to watch how you sit" angle. Mystery solved!! I didn't ask about the short hair, but with the trouble mine has been today with the wind and rain, I'm chalking that up to comfort and convenience, too.
I've had this song stuck in my head tonight - Edie Brickell - Me By the Sea .
Monday, September 27, 2010
Still updating from the weekend, but this is a GREAT quote....
Thanks to my friend for reposting this quote her friend found...it's such a great quote.
“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so.” ~Mary Jean Iron
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